Anthony’s Message (Part 1)

December 29th, 2012 by admin

The Accidental MediumAnthony’s Message was written for the family of Anthony McColl about three months after the accident that took the life of a vibrant 19 year old young man.  Anthony was – and still is – the son of dear family friends.

This story was my attempt to recount our own experience in the wake of the possibly avoidable death of Anthony – to offer some peace, reassurance and a life altering perspective on this tragic incident.

A year later, this story was published in the book A Father’s Tears by David McColl, Anthony’s father.   If you have lost a child, or are supporting someone who has lost a child, I highly recommend reading A Father’s Tears.

The recent tragedy in Newtown CT compelled me to publish Anthony’s Message here.  The loss of a child is unthinkable. But when we are forced to think about it, let alone experience it, we may leave ourselves open to a spiritual awakening.

I hope that Anthony’s message will give people hope that life is not what it seems, that there is a higher perspective – an expansive view of life being lived on a continuum. We never lose those we love. They are with us, and here to support us on our earthly journey.  This is the first of three installments. Please read on…

“Mommy!!! Wake up! Wake Up!”
Matilda is sitting straight up in bed in the darkened room. She’s got both hands on my bare left arm, yanking me from a deep sleep.  Kate, Matilda and I are supposed to be in the middle of a Friday night sleepover at Mom’s condo. Matilda and I are bunking in Mom’s room.  We all went to bed late.  It’s now well past midnight, the exact time unsure.  This is too soon to wake up.

I’m barely conscious. “what’s the matter, Mattie?” I murmur.

Matilda is talking in a stage whisper. “Mommy. I’m scared… There’s somebody here. They’re here on my side. I don’t know who it is. Can we change sides? Please? I’m scared…”

“o.k.” I sigh as I slide towards her, pull her up and over me and settle her on the other side of the bed.  I scoot over to Matilda’s well-warmed spot.  I find her soft white blankie and her dog-eared bunny toy nestled there.  I snuggle them down beside Matilda who is now almost back to sleep, then roll over on my side to get more shuteye.

But I can’t.

There’s definitely somebody here.
I stop trying to sleep and try to discern the subtle but pressing energy.  It feels like a male presence.  It’s moving around this corner of the room.  A paper rustles, something softly scuffs a surface.  He’s by the bed again – it’s a calm gentle energy.  It could be my Dad, or my grandfather or …?  The usual suspects would normally let me know exactly who they are. And there are a few others who tend to wake us up at night.  Who is it?

But it’s weird.  Nighttime visitations have never happened at Mom’s condo. Whoever it is,  is not making himself known.  I know I’ll find out soon enough if it’s important.  I try again to settle down to sleep. I can’t.  I wonder what he needs?

Sunlight is leaking around the edges of the drapes when Kate and Mom tiptoe into the room. Matilda is snoring softly on her side of the bed as I whisper to Mom that Matilda didn’t sleep well. We need to let her sleep in. Someone woke her up. Someone has definitely been in the room.  It felt like it was a male.  Mom whispers she’s not slept well either. Kate was very restless, flopping around like a fish out of water. We both agree. Something’s “up”.

Bleary-eyed with coffee in hand.
Mom and I try to revive ourselves in the living room.  As I gradually perk up I think more about last night. Very strange. Matilda would normally tell me to get rid of the unknown visitor  – tell them to go away.  People she doesn’t know she calls “monsters” – I guess because she’s scared, they don’t come in clearly enough to be seen.   I’d say the usual: ‘Thanks but no thanks. We can’t help you now.  Please go.’ They usually do.

During these situations, Matilda always asks me to call in Grampa Grant to watch over us to make sure nobody will bug us.  But last night I didn’t do any of this. Did Matilda feel this person was meant to be with us?  I guess I may have felt that too. At least it never occurred to me to ask them to leave.  The energy was somehow familiar.

With Matilda now up and both girls busy munching on breakfast, I slip into Mom’s bathroom for a quick shower. I’m not fully positioned under the showerhead when I hear the matter-of-fact statement in my head, “ “Someone close to you has died.”

“Whaaat?” I say back, incredulous. This is awful.  My mind whips into worst-case-scenario. Oh God, I hope it’s not my husband. He’s in the air right now on his way here, to be with his family. It’s a stormy morning, with high winds.

I’m given no more details.
But when I get out of the shower, I hear the phone ring.  The voice in my head says softly, calmly, unemotionally, “Here we go…”  I peek out the bathroom door and Mom is in the bedroom, portable phone to her ear, tears streaming down her face. “You better talk to your sister…” she says into the phone.

It’s my brother Andy.  Andy is in charge of calling people. We’re his first call. He can hardly talk. Brief details. Anthony was in a fatal car accident early this morning.  I get hit by a wave of grief.  Anthony is such a great kid.  Everybody loves Anthony. This is devastating. Oh God. Poor Monica and Rufus.  As parents, it’s their worst fear realized. This shouldn’t be happening. It’s not right.

Then a thought bubbles up.  Could it be Anthony who visited last night?  What time was the crash?  What time did Matilda wake me up?  Around 3 a.m. I’d guess. Matilda doesn’t really know Anthony. She was a baby the last time his family visited us at the lake. Whoever it was seemed to be attracted to her.

I’m packing up our sleepover bags.  The girls are readying their gear to load the car, then pick up their Dad at the airport.

A voice in my head says. “He’s with his grandmother. He’s crossed over. It was instant.”

I don’t know if this is wishful thinking or if it’s a clear message. I let it rest.

Hubbie is home safe. 
We’re now in our kitchen at the lake, making platters for the appetizer table at the annual fundraising event for Matilda’s co-op preschool – it’s happening tomorrow.  Kate has helped us finish filling spring rolls and now we’re busily rolling sushi.  For no apparent reason I look up and stare at the stacked ovens.  Why am I looking there?  We’re not using the ovens.

A male is standing there facing me.  He’s a big guy, he’s young. Dark wavy hair falls in front of his face.  It’s not the first time I’ve had Spirit visitors beside my ovens.  All the electricity – it’s a magnet. Spirits often use the energy that charges big appliances to come through to this side.  My fridge has the same power, and the same effect.

Is that Anthony?? I’m not sure. He’s faint. He comes in and out – at least it seems that way.   I sigh. I don’t enjoy this space – not knowing whether it’s wishful thinking, my imagination or a real visit. But I’ve learned what to do. I push away the vision.  If it goes away, it’s wishful thinking. If the vision comes back again, gets stronger with more details, if we interact, it’s the real deal.

We continue our veggie sushi marathon. I look up from my sushi mat, frustrated with an inside-out roll that’s not working for me, to find the young man standing by the ovens but this time with an older woman beside him.  I think it’s his grandmother.  They aren’t talking, just calmly surveying the scene. I acknowledge their presence.  They disappear.  I’m feeling it’s Anthony but my ego needs more proof. I don’t say anything to my husband.

It’s late.
The girls are now in bed and I’m in my upstairs bathroom – my channeling room – brushing my teeth, washing my face.  A subtle presence comes in.  I say, “Anthony, if this is you, I will help you get any messages to your family. I promise.”  There’s no answer.

I don’t sleep well. None of us do. Kate wakes up. “Daddy!”  She’s had a bad dream and can’t get back to sleep.  Her Dad goes down to Kate’s room to settle her down.  I hear her cry out every time he tries to leave. He stays with her.

It’s Matilda’s turn. “Mommy!” Matilda often wakes up in the middle of the night. She gets up by herself to pee, read her picture books, chat with unseen friends, sing pre-school songs, recite newly learned rhymes.  She only calls out if she’s sick, she’s wet the bed, she’s hungry.  Or, if there’s a visitor.

I stumble down the stairs. “Mommy!” Matilda is crying now as I walk into her room. “There’s somebody here!”  Matilda pleads.

“It’s okay, Honey. It’s okay. It’s just Anthony. He’s our friend. He’s visiting.  He’s a good guy.  We love Anthony. Time to go back to sleep. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

Matilda seems reassured.  “o.k…  Can you stay with me ‘til when the sun comes?” Matilda mumbles from under the covers.

I agree, crawling into the spare bed.

I dream that Dad is standing by my bed.
He tells me in my sleep, “Anthony and Matilda have the same kind of energy.”

In the morning we are scrambling to get ready for church. I’m back in my bathroom, finished my hair and now doing my face. My Dad, now in Spirit for more than 15 years, is in his usual spot, leaning against the counter, arms crossed.

“Dad? Why Anthony?”

Dad answers back immediately, “Soon you’ll understand.”

I reach into my walk-in closet and dig out some pant stockings from a drawer.

Dad adds, “You’ll say his name in church today.”

ugghh.  I know what this is. It’s a test from Spirit.

Dad knows I like to lie low in the pew. 
I go to church, but as an outlier in the protestant religion, I feel it’s not my place to speak up in church:  I feel I’m in no position since I don’t subscribe to some of its fundamental tenets.  Case in point:  I have not accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior, yet this is a cornerstone of our religion.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m a firm believer in what Jesus stood for, his lessons, his compassionate role model, and I am in awe of Christ consciousness that manifests every day, in warm gestures, in respectful responses, in thoughtful deeds, showing how we are all connected.  The Dalai Lama sums up Christ consciousness by saying, “My religion is kindness”.  I subscribe to that. So I go to church.

Dad’s request refers to a quiet portion during the service where churchgoers are encouraged to speak the names of people who are in their thoughts this week.  Gisele, our Minister, then leads the congregation through a spontaneous community prayer that includes the names of these people. It’s an unrehearsed moment where everyone seems to connect.

I make a feeble attempt to lessen my potential involvement at church this morning. “Dad, You know I don’t DO that…”

Dad looks at me and waits.

“But…,”I’m thinking out loud. “I guess if there was a time to speak up, it would be today, after what happened.”

“Don’t worry about it, Putty,” encourages Dad in my left ear.  “It will all work out.”

(Putty is my nickname – because I tend to be on the go, doing something, thinking about something, working on something. Dad used to say I was always putt-putting around. )

I don’t know how this is going to play out. Maybe I will say something. Maybe I won’t need to. I have to wait and see. And trust that soon I’ll understand

- With thanks to Spirit for infinite return.

(Story to be continued in Anthony’s Message – Part 2.)


(c) 2010, 2011, 2012 The Accidental Medium. UltraMarine Media Inc. All Rights Reserved.


March 6th, 2011 by admin

You remember pop quizzes in school?
How much did you hate those? Sure it was okay if you’d already studied. You probably felt relieved or smug or both. Or maybe you got an inkling ahead of time so you had a chance to cram in the hallway. But what if you were just hanging out, enjoying life, then WHAM! A calculus quiz is placed face down on your desk. Surprise! You have a limited time to dig deep and find out what you’re made of.


We’re all here to learn. Most of the time we consciously step forward to expand ourselves, whether it’s learning how to create a webinar for your business, perfecting your tennis backhand or whipping up eggs benedict for twenty. We get stretched, but we choose to stretch ourselves. But sometimes a learning opp rises up unexpectedly on our path that we don’t choose. Even though we may try to avoid it, eventually we have to face it.

As a medium, I get a lot of unexpected tests.
And they don’t just happen during normal working hours. They are all about expanding my capacity to understand and communicate messages between realms. I’m always given a break between lessons, to regroup, and assimilate what I’ve learned. I get to relax, and retrain my beliefs before the next lesson begins to reveal it self. It’s very clear it’s a test. Like a pop quiz has been dropped on my desk.

These Spirit lessons don’t stop just because I’m on holiday – in fact it’s during holidays, when I’m out of my usual zone, that it’s easier to get my attention, push me to step further out, trust and expand my ability.

It’s our first holiday away as a whole family.
Our traveling family unit now includes wee Matilda (just two). Along with my Mom, we head for the Riviera Maya. Mexico is a favorite haunt of my hubby. He’s worked in Mexico, photographing its huge landscapes, vibrant culture, archeological treasures and warm faces over many years and many visits. I’ve come to love it too. We choose a sleepy beach town that we both agree is perfect for this first full family vacation. Safe, protected and not particularly touristy, a highlight of this location is renting a casita right on the beach.

We arrive on a Saturday evening, unpack and are asleep before the sunset’s colors soak into the night sky. Soon it’s a beautiful morning. The aquamarine sea calls us down to dip our toes in the shallow surf. On the beach, we meet our first casita neighbor – a real estate man whom we soon discover has the inside track on just about everything. He kindly proceeds to give us a lay of the land, where to get groceries and get our laundry done, the politics of reserving beach chairs, and even who some of our other neighbors are. As we sit under the umbrellas chatting and getting to know each other, an elegant woman strides by, in practical walking attire, a backpack on her back, and a lot of strength in her step. She’s probably my Mom’s age.

“That’s Hope” says Dan.
“She’s a neighbor of ours from back home. In fact, you’ll find a lot of people who are regulars here are from our neck of the woods. She and her husband have been coming here for years – they told my wife and I about this place about ten years ago. We’ve been coming here ever since.”

“Hope’s been through a lot. Her husband Hank – wonderful guy – died on their last trip here just after New Year’s. He’d been sick for a while, but it happened so fast. Right after they arrived. Shocking really. So traumatic. Hope brought him home and the family had the funeral. We were all there. It was huge: Full-blown Catholic funeral. We didn’t think Hope would come back, but here she is. Her family is with her – they are continuing the holiday they’d planned. She’s a strong woman.”

I’m thinking, “Wow. Good on her!”

A mid-day Mexican sun is far too intense for our fair skin so we pack up our beach things and head back to the casita to take a 3-hour afternoon siesta. The girls nap. We nap. We read and do puzzles with the girls. The girls color in their coloring books and play with their dolls. The sun’s rays weaken around 3 pm and we are soon out on the beach sploshing in the gentle waves of the protected bay.

We meet a couple on the beach.
They have a young boy about Kate’s age. Kate has a knack for making friends and immediately develops a buddy-ship. The boy is gentle, happy and fun, and reminds Kate of her friend Jake back home. Our two girls are making sand castles with young William while hubby and I talk to his parents. We learn they are from the same town as our newly found friend Dan. Bill is a real estate developer, and Louise used to be a career technical writer in the computer field but is now a stay-at-home Mom. William is her life.

As we get to know them, Louise tells me that her Dad just died here a few weeks before due to complications from Parkinson’s Disease – he had a stroke before it had gotten really ugly. Louise’s Mom and Dad had only been here two days when it happened.

Louise elaborates. “Even though it was earlier than we expected, Dad’s death was kind of meant-to-be. Dad was staying in his favorite place in the world, in their favorite casita, and had had his last dinner at his favorite restaurant in the world”….

Louise tells me the name of this special restaurant – but I miss it.
In the back of my mind, I’m thinking ‘we need a good restaurant tonight after last night’s cheese and crackers…’ But the conversation has moved quickly into serious life and death territory. I don’t want to interrupt the flow to clarify the restaurant name. This is obviously the daughter of Hope, Dan’s neighbor who lost her husband. The family has been through a lot. Louise needs to talk.

Louise continues. “My Mom is taking it extremely well. Mom went back with Dad’s remains and we had the funeral. It was Mom who decided to come back here. She insisted that we continue the plan of a joint family vacation. We’d all had our tickets bought, and the casita was booked. My sister and her family are staying at the hotel down the beach.”

The sun is setting. It’s now 5:30 pm.
We’ve been floating about in the warm shallows in the bay, but it’s getting ‘chilly’ with the sun going down, so we collect our kids, say goodbye and head back home. The girls are soon showered and cuddled up in their pj’s watching a movie on our portable DVD player. I grab a chance to have a hot shower by myself.  Now THIS is a vacation. Child-free showers!

There in the shower, I’m totally relaxed, not thinking about anything in particular. Just feeling the salt and sand of the day rinse off my skin, the stickiness seemingly evaporates off my body into the steam. Ahhhhhhhh…..

He’s still here. He’s not passed over. He’s with Hope. You’ll get a chance to tell Hope that he’s still around. He’s having fun with them…. FREEDOM.

“WHAT??” I say to nobody in particular. ‘oh no…” I’m quickly jettisoned from my underwater reverie.

I may have mentioned this before – for me showers can act like a channeling chamber. Water amplifies and speeds energy transmissions. And I often get key words when getting a download from Spirit. FREEDOM is the keyword this time around. Hank is free to enjoy his family without the limitations of that terrible disease.

I don’t know these people from Adam.
I beg, “I can’t do THAT!” I don’t know these people from ADAM!”

I plead, “You expect me to just walk up and say, Hey! We just flew in on the Chicago flight? I’m a clairvoyant medium and I happened to get a message for you about your deceased husband while I was taking a shower?”

I continue to argue my case. ” What am I supposed to say? ‘Oh. And by the way. I’m meant to tell you your husband is having a blast. And how do you like us so far…?’ I can’t do THIS!!!!”

I’m feeling a bit queasy. All of a sudden I’m hearing the distinctive Lalo Schifrin theme song in my head. I think I’ve just been dropped into an episode of Mission Impossible. ‘Your mission, should you decide to accept it… Good Luck, L…’

This is not a pop quiz.
This may just be Mission Impossible. I can’t do this test. I don’t know how.

Then I hear the name “CHARLES“. I am supposed to ask Hope about someone named Charles. I hear “They will know who it is.” oooh boy. Spirit is not letting up on this one.

As I towel dry, I make a deal.

I say, “OKAY. I will do this but only if you give me THREE signs that CLEARLY show I have to go through with this. And it has to happen in the next 24 hours”.


For our first dinner outing, we’ve decided to check out a little local restaurant recommended by Dan. When we get there though, we find it closed. (Not Dan’s fault – if we’d asked I’m sure he’d have told us it’s a no-go on Sunday nights). We’ve passed an interesting looking restaurant on our way to this one, so we back track. I look at the name – “Cueva del Pescador”.

That’s a sign. I recognize it.
That’s the name of the restaurant where Hank had his last supper. I’m sure of it.

“OK. That’s ONE, ” I say to Spirit, “But I need TWO more signs…. !”

So early the next morning, I’m organizing my family, trying to get them down to the beach for some time in the water before it gets too hot. Herding cats, I mutter to myself. We finally get it together. I have the girls on the last of a few steep steps down to the beach when Hope, Louise and her son walk right by us. We say “Hi”.

I comment under my breath, “Is THAT supposed to count? Coincidence…!?!”

We’re on the beach for a couple of hours before I herd my family back up to the casita. Kate has left some toys by the water so I turn back there to pick them up out of the sand. As I hit the first step to the beach, Louise and her sister, and her Mom go by – again. We say “Hi!”

“OK.” I say to the power that is. “Third sign, but overall, if these last two are signs, they’re pretty ‘light weight'”….

Now Hubby and my Mom are getting into “the signs”.
They’ve been keeping track. I told them at the Cueva del Pescador that I’m on a mission. Hubby is fascinated in a bemused yet ongoing observer kind of way. Mom is visibly concerned. She doesn’t want me to have to worry about this: I’m on vacation after all. Then there’s the risk of becoming a social pariah.

Mom keeps asking me, “How is this going to happen? How are you going to do this?” How are you going to figure out how to deliver it in some kind of acceptable fashion? She just lost her husband! What if it’s not appreciated?”

My own ego couldn’t have said it any better.

I tell my Mom, and my ego, “I’m being told not to worry. It’s all going to happen. It will happen effortlessly. I’m just supposed to let go and wait for it. It will work out perfectly. Maybe I’m not meant to tell Hope directly. Maybe I’ll be told to tell friends of hers who’re here, who’ll get the word to her. Or maybe I’m supposed to tell Louise. Or…” and I say this -jokingly to get her reaction, “Maybe YOU’LL tell Hope, Mom.” Mom shuts up.

So now it’s Tuesday. I’m not happy with my three signs – they aren’t strong enough. I tell Spirit to “This isn’t working for me. Step up!”

Again, I’m herding my girls down to the beach. We hit the bottom step and turn because Louise is power walking by saying, “HI! We must get together!” Then 2 hours later I am herding the girls back up to the Casita, and as we hit the bottom step, William walks by with his grandmother Hope, and other relatives. He says to the girls, “HI!”

We’re up to five signs in a day and a half.
But, I say to myself. “These signs are SO lame. Of course we’re going to see these people walking along here. I’m not buying it.”

With that comment, we don’t see a member of Hope’s family for the rest of the day. No more signs. They’ve come to a halt. Maybe I don’t have to do this after all. Or maybe my test has been postponed, if not canceled.

About 4pm we decide to explore the shoreline. We’re gone for more than an hour. As the sun sets, we’re walking back along the waterfront walkway that ambles its way in front of the long string of casitas. I get sidetracked by something Mom is pointing out on the iron shore. The next thing I know, hubby and the girls are gone. Where the heck have they disappeared to?

“Come here! Come on! Come in!” I hear my husband calling us. He’s standing in the garden of an unknown casita, motioning us to come over.

As Mom and I arrive at the door, we’re greeted by Hope, Louise and Bill. It’s the casita Hope’s renting. William is showing Kate and Matilda his lego construction. And there is a very present male energy in the far end of the living room.

My voice in my head says, “There he is.”

I try to ignore Hank in the room.
We chat with our new friends. If his presence goes away – maybe I don’t have to do this? Hank’s energy remains there. His energy is light, but he’s very present.

It’s soon time for dinner. I gather the girls from the bedroom where they have been having the time of their lives jumping on a king-sized bed-turned trampoline with William (something verboten in our house).

I come back out of the bedroom into the main living area with kids in tow, and there is Hank standing in the kitchen in full form, between the sink and the fridge. He doesn’t say anything. I make another half-hearted attempt to block him out, but he’s very much there. Standing firm.

I give.  We’ve found the body.
Astral. But a body none-the-less. I guess I am really going to go ahead with this mission. Hank seems pleased.

Hope and family have plans to go out for a special dinner this evening, so we promise to get together the following day – the last full day before their departure.

The next day will be my chance to get Hank’s message to Hope. I feel it in my gut. The word “How” keeps popping in my head. It’s a word that messes up divine intervention. I acknowledge it and put the How on a shelf in my head. I return my attention into trusting it will all happen, some “How”. My job is to stay open: And trust that an opening will reveal itself to deliver the message.

The next day arrives and we’re all off in different directions.
I finally get a moment to myself sitting on a chaise lounge on the beach. It’s my half hour “off”. This is turning out to be 24/7 childcare for both me and hubby – we’ve been tag teaming. The girls are only two years apart but often their interests and nap schedules don’t coincide. This age is a busy time, even on holiday. It’s certainly easier than usual, but it’s still not easy. I’m tired.

Louise’s husband Bill walks by and calls out, “Let’s get together in a little bit!”

A little later Louise flies by on her power walk and gives an update, “We are getting the troops together – we’ll see you soon!”

It’s late in the afternoon when Louise, Bill and William show up together where all my family is now playing on the beach. Louise advises, “Mom is on her way. Bill, go back to the casita to get some wine. Let’s have a little going away party!”

Bill heads off to get wine for the impromptu party.
I make my way back to our casita for drinks and snacks. I return to a much larger gathering. Other guests and friends have discovered our party on the beach – and are milling about with more wine, more snacks. Hope has shown up and is talking to Mom.

A blue-lipped Kate is upon me. She’s been playing in the waves in the setting sun and is now teeth-chattering cold. I dump my party supplies on a chaise lounge and backtrack to the casita to get Kate into warmer dry clothes.

Kate and I return to the beach to find a freezing Matilda.
As I return to the casita to get Matilda changed out of her wet bathing suit, I notice the group on the beach is even larger now – other guests who’ve been watching from the periphery have beetled in. In passing, I hear a couple trying to sell Amway along with their devotion to Jesus Christ as our personal savior. I get a sinking feeling my mission is sliding off the rails.

Off to one side, Hope is still talking to Mom, while her family members are dispersed along the beach chatting with various friends and guests. Kids are congregating, shrieking and playing along the waters edge. The party is in full swing.

I’m thinking to myself, “This is going down hill really fast.
I just don’t see this happening. How do I have a quiet moment with Hope with all this going on?” Trust is becoming a shaky proposition. I try to throw off the feeling. “Don’t expect anything! It will all happen! Somehow?” I just don’t know…

I finally return to the party with a dry and warm Matilda in tow. I’m now verging on harried, and a little out of breath. I’m resigning myself to things not happening the way I thought. Maybe it’s not meant to be. I didn’t balk at the test. I just didn’t get an opening. And that’s okay.

A warm and dry Matilda heads off to play with her sister and friends as I walk up to the edge of the group. Hope turns to me and says matter-of-factly, “Your mother and I have been talking. She tells me you are clairvoyant.”

A bubble of elation rolls up into my throat.
I stifle a hoot. Mom did it!!! She’s created the opening!

I say, with a smile, “Yes. I am.”

Hope proceeds, “I feel Hank around. I feel him very close. I have to admit, I don’t feel sad. Or at least not as sad as I’m supposed to be.” She pauses. “We’ve been coming down here for years so we have some longtime friends here. Many are from back home. They are making me feel kind of guilty. I guess I’m not the picture of an inconsolable widow. Maybe they think I’m being insensitive – to all that’s happened. I guess it upsets them. I’m not behaving as I should. I’m not grieving. Instead, I’ve been busy, having fun with my family. It’s been hard. But not the way I thought it would be.”

I blurt.
“How can you miss your husband when he’s standing right here?” Hank is standing behind Hope’s left shoulder. “Of course you aren’t grieving. You know he’s here. He was in your casita when we visited you yesterday. He’s around you… Of course… you KNOW that.”

Hope’s face is clearly relieved. She knows he’s here. She just needed confirmation. After the traumatic events of the previous weeks, she didn’t trust herself. Now she can. She got third party validation – from someone not close to the situation. It’s not her wishful thinking. It just is.

“You have no idea how much this means to me.”
Hope gives me a big hug and thanks me. Surprisingly composed, she’s not emotional as much as in a state of recognition as to why she not grieving as she “should”. It’s not because there’s some lack of emotional sensitivity on her part, but because she is VERY sensitive to the fact her husband is with her. It doesn’t feel like he’s gone. He’s not.

I tell Hope the message.
“Hank wants you to know he’s having so much fun being with you and your family. He’s finally free to enjoy this family time now. He wasn’t before with his disease. It was so frustrating for him. Upsetting. His death gave him freedom. I get the word FREEDOM. I’m being told that’s an important word.”

Hope says quietly, “That’s my word too. I am feeling so free after such a hard time. Two years of intense 24/7 care. I told Hank as he was going into a coma, ‘I’m so sorry I have been so bitchy’. I guess I’m feeling guilty for feeling free.”

I say, “So I guess the word FREEDOM is meant for both of you. You are both free now. FREEDOM is good – for both of you.”

Louise joins our private conversation.
Hope tells her I’m clairvoyant and I see Hank. Louise is unfazed. She tells me how she totally believes in reincarnation, that she and William talk to her father all the time.

We get into the details. I fill them in on what I am picking up. Hank’s energy is very light – as though he has passed over. But he’s not. I’ve been told he’s not passed over. And he’s not talking – at least I cannot hear him – so that’s my own indication he’s hanging in the astral plane. But I’m told it is not a problem. He is infinitely protected. He has no problems being in the astral plane.

Having explained how there can be some n’er-do-wells stuck the astral plane, Louise says, “It sounds just like Dad. Dad’s probably set up shop, sitting in a corner, quietly counseling people. He’ll help them on their way.” Hope agrees.

I ask Mother and Daughter, “Who is Charles?”

They don’t know of a Charles.

I think out loud, “Maybe it’s a friend who died? Or it’s a deceased relative? A spirit guide? It’s not clear to me. I’m told you will know. Think about it. Maybe it will come to you later.” I let it go.

Hope asks me how I see the messages.
I explain a little bit about the various ways I receive messages: seeing pictures or movies, hearing words in my left ear, sometimes without a voice – telepathic words just drop into my head – or it’s a feeling in my body, or just downloads of data that fall into my brain. Or a combination thereof. When people come in I feel a change in the pressure in the room, or feel as though someone is watching me, or perhaps I see a translucent oily smudge in mid air – like a watery thermocline, or a desert mirage.

Some times the person comes in very clearly in my mind’s eye – my third eye – or they appear to me physically like a normal person on this side – until I notice they are a bit ‘see-through’. Other times it’s a faint representation of a person on the screen in my head. I can tell if it’s male or female, their approximate age, a few identifying details, how they relate to the person on this side, but not much more. I need to be able to read more energy to get the details: I can read it off the person they are connected to on this side. I normally ask for permission. Otherwise it’s none of my business. I don’t randomly read people. It’s unethical. Not good form.

The air is growing chilly.
Even with the night lighting along the beach it’s getting really dark. More importantly, Matilda has stripped off three layers of clothing and is now lolling around in the surf stark naked. Someone finds a big beach towel that we wrap around her, and hubby takes the girls in to the casita to warm up and re-cloth.

I now have the chance to continue to talk to Hope and Louise without one eye and one ear trained on the girls. All of a sudden, Louise blurts out, “Can the Charles be someone from this side?” Before I can reply, Louise says excitedly, “Mom – Charlie!!!” She turns back to me and explains, “Could Charlie be ‘the Charles’? He’s like my brother. He’s an old friend of the family, and he astral travels all the time. He’s been doing it for years! Why didn’t we think of this before?”

I say, “I was told you would know. That makes sense. That could very well be him. When you see him, ask Charlie if he visits your Dad.”

Hope laughs. She thinks it’s all great. As we get ready to leave the beach, Hope again says, “Thank you so much.”

I tell her, “Thank you. This really helps me too. It gives me more trust in the process. There’s always something new. It can be hard to trust when I don’t know where something is going. It’s not about confidence in myself, but being confident to trust the guidance from Spirit.”

I explain where my head was at the beginning of the trip.
My download in the shower to tell Hope about her husband had really tested me. How I had to get my mind around going up to complete strangers to tell them that their deceased relative was happy and hanging around them.

Hope and Louise laugh. They think it’s pretty funny. Hope acknowledges my socially awkward predicament, “Oh my. What a time you’ve had!”

Hope pauses, “What happens next for Hank?”

“Well, as far as I know, he’s going to hang around you, Hope, until you are both ready. Then he’ll go to “school”.

“They say school?” Hope asks.

“Well – that’s what I say – for lack of a better descriptor. Hank crosses over into the light and part of the process is to completely release his earthbound ego, review his lessons learned on earth and create his plan for the next part in his journey. He’ll be available to you then – but his presence will be even lighter than it is now.”

Louise chimes in, “But Dad had very little ego?”

“I know. His energy is so light. When I first saw him in the casita, I could tell he was not passed over yet his energy felt so light. When someone hasn’t passed over, their energy normally feels much heavier. The heaviness is their ego.” I file this knowledge away. In this test, I’ve learned how light a person’s energy can feel even if they remain in the astral plan.

When I get back to the casita, I corner my Mom.
“I can’t believe it! You were so worried about me having to say something, and YOU end up saying it!”

Mom tries to explain her unusually outspoken behavior. “Well… I was listening to Hope’s story. And this poor woman. She told me she felt her husband very close. And her friends were not being supportive of her decision to come back to finish her vacation. She was being vilified by her own friends for behaving “inappropriately”. And how could she even pretend when she can feel her husband right here? I had to help her!”

I laugh. “Remember? Last Sunday night? I kidded with you – that it might even be you that says something!?”

Mom had forgotten that detail.

Next day our little family heads over to Hope’s casita to say goodbye. Louise and Bill are there with William. Hope comes into the casita’s garden while we’re saying our final goodbyes. She’s been saying goodbye to other friends staying at the casitas.

Hank follows behind Hope.
I think to myself, ‘Should I say anything to her about Hank being here?’ The timing often seems too perfect when loved ones appear. I tend to hold back on what I actually experience going on. People might not believe me.

I wait. Hope walks by me into the Casita and Hank passes by my right side. I feel his energy like a faint puff of air. Hope turns and thanks me again.

“Tell me. How does Hank look? Is he okay?” Hope is asking hesitantly.

I laugh, “He’s great! He’s healthy!” I blurt, “In fact, he is right here.” I point to where his energy is. He’s now standing behind her left shoulder. “He has his arm around you. He’s smiling.”

Hope grins, “He was always standing behind me with his arm around me. In almost every photo we have of us, that’s where he is.”

I reply, “Well he’s going home with you. He’s with you for a while.”

Hope thanks me again, and we share another big hug. “You have no idea how much this means to me. This has made my holiday.”

Mine too.  Mission Completa.  Mission Accomplished.

- With thanks to Spirit for infinite return.
(c) 2010, 2011, 2012 The Accidental Medium. UltraMarine Media Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Ghosts are People Too Part 7 – Ouija Boards & Protection Work

October 30th, 2010 by admin

Accidental Medium PostTo Our Readers:
This is the continuing email conversation about Ghosts between my old friend McFly and I to help him with his Ghost Tours of New Orleans. Here are Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and Part 6.

Dear McFly,
I decided I should cover the much affronted, often shunned Ouija Board in this missive, along with some pointers to practice safe psychic with this tool. So the next question added to the list is:

#7   What about using a Ouija Board to contact ghosts?
Well first of all, Ouija boards have been around for hundreds of years in one form or another, allowing “regular folk” to talk to spirits – no Medium, training or séance required. You can even make your own. Whoo Hoo!  A deal at twice the price.

“Ouija board” is the official name of the Parkers Brothers game but its generic version is a divination tool that is also referred to a “spirit board” or a “talking board”.  Some people conjecture that Ouija means “Yes, Yes” – from the French word “Oui”and the German word “Ja”.

Note to the Uninitiated:
A Ouija Board – pronounced “Wee Gee ” – is a flat board marked with letters, numbers, words (commonly Yes, No, Hello, Goodbye, Maybe) and other symbols. It uses a planchette (a small 3-legged heart-shaped piece of wood) or a pointer such as an overturned glass.  The fingers of the participants are lightly placed on the planchette or pointer and one of the participants ask a question of any “spirit” present: The planchette seemingly slides of its own accord across the board until it stops over one of the words or sometimes spells out an answer to a question on the board.

Schools of Ouija Thought.
There seem to be three schools of thought about the Ouija Board:  Some users see it as just a fun game – and they leave it at that.  (2) Other users believe that they are in contact with Spirits who are spelling out Ouija Board answers to their questions (3) Skeptics believe Ouija Boards are totally bogus and that those using the board either consciously or unconsciously move the pointer to what is selected.

In the ghost-hunting world (of which I am not apart), there is a macho faction where individuals ‘prove’ how courageous they are by going into haunted places, turning off the lights and using the Ouija Board – alone with a flashlight.  Commando Ouija – It’s silly.

I personally believe that the movements of a Ouija board CAN be the result of contact with Spirits, and it can ALSO be unconscious movements by the Users.  In my particular family, with our lineage of intuitives, I believe the Ouija Board often acts as a Spirit Board.

The Ouija Board Talks
My first cousin recounted to me a story of long ago, when my older brother and cousin were 8 and 9 years old.  They were using our Ouija board at our grandparents old farmhouse and came into contact with a 3-year old girl who spelled out her name E-M-M-A, and gave them the message that she had died there and was their cousin. The young Ouiji’ers went to our parents and grandparents, asking them about “Emma”.  The elders were quite shaken by this, asking – How did you know about her?

There was indeed a little girl who died on the farm, before my Mom was even born. The little girl was my great uncle’s first daughter and her name was Emma.  She died of “the preefie” (a generic term for some long forgotten disease). Discussion of Emma was off limits in the family because it was too hard on my great Uncle, and then as time went by, Emma’s existence was all but erased from the family history- until some 50 years later when my brother and cousin were playing around with our Parker Brothers Ouija Board.

Ouija Board goes off limits.
From then on, my brothers and I were not allowed to use the Ouija Board and our own copy of the game mysteriously disappeared from our household.  Some of my cousins, aunts and uncles still use the Ouija Board for a fun evening at the cottage, or as a New Year’s party game.  They have had some amazing “contacts”.  They keep asking me to join in, but I defer. Maybe one day. When I was younger I was too scared to participate because I was terrified of ghosts. And now I can have my own chats, so what’s the point?

Should you use a Ouiji Board?
It’s up to you.  But if you do, there are some caveats. It’s important to know that in using a Ouija Board, you don’t get to choose who comes in. They do.  You may get someone who is in Spirit (from a higher realm who is all love) or someone who is in ghost form (from the astral planes that closest to our physical realm).  Some ghosts are nice, and some are not: You could be giving an open invitation to anyone. You don’t get to choose. Your front door is wide open.  Would you let just anyone into your house? As we’ve discussed, some spirits who have not passed over, a.k.a. some ghosts can be troublesome.

Be Prepared.
Just as we have some nasties on this side of the veil, you may get nasties coming in from the astral planes. You want to be prepared beforehand to make sure a lowlife doesn’t glom onto you – giving you an icky feeling, anxiety, extreme fear or even depression.  Ghosts can be troublemakers that can mess up your aura and make you feel “off”, upset, ungrounded or downright sick.

Spiritual Protection.
Spiritual protection work sounds kind of scary but it’s really about boundaries. Before we venture out into the big world, we need to have our boundaries in place or we get used and abused. It’s no different when hobnobbing with ghosts: it’s important  to create a psychic perimeter of protection around you that tells the lowlifes to buzz off.

Awareness is Key.
Just the awareness that some ghosts can be a pain in the butt can help you keep your natural guard up against a lowlife.  In other words, ‘they know you know about them’ and will more likely stay away.

You can do a visualization.
Before you begin using the board, wrap yourself in sparkling white light from head to toe – encapsulating yourself in a cocoon of protection.  White light does wonders in keeping the ‘ner do wells away.

Call for Back-Up.
If you are so inclined, you can call in your Spirit Guides and Angels, asking them ‘to protect you and clear away any entities that do not have the highest good for all involved.’ You don’t have to know your guides and angels to call them in. You don’t even have to believe in them. Just do it. The more you acknowledge your spiritual posse, the more you will become aware of them and benefit from their support.

Your Spirit Guides.
Spirit Guides are loved ones who have crossed over. You may have known them from this life or another life. They are here to support you on your journey.  You just need to ask for their help. We have access to many guides. Some are with us for life, others at specific times.

The Angelic Realm.
Angels are very real beings from the very high realms: They are non- denominational – in fact many denominations speak of angels – and are not just a product of Hallmark or the Bible. Some say angels have never incarnated on earth, others say that angels can incarnate in a human body.   I don’t think it matters, other than to know that Angels are messengers of Pure Consciousness, God, Allah, Yahweh, Vishnu, Krishna, All That Is, The Divine, Source,  or whatever you prefer to call the omniscient higher power at work every where in the Universe.  We all have at least one angel assigned to us, who watches over us for our entire lifetime.  So if you’ve ever felt you were somehow divinely protected in a particularly dangerous situation – you were. And you are.

A prayer works.
You can also try a group invocation at the beginning of the game, and order that only those with the best intentions and bringing the highest good for all involved be allowed to come in this evening.  You can use your own words to create your prayer, but you get the idea.

Your intention.
Did I mention that Ouiji Boards should only be used for the highest good of all involved?  That goes for this side too. Don’t use it to find out things that are none of your business, manipulative or underhanded.  By using a Ouija Board for ill-intent, you will likely bring in lower vibrating entities who will be dishonest, may say harmful things, and possibly glom on to your lower vibration and take you for an uncomfortable ride.

If you get slimed..
If you start to feel icky during or after using the Ouija board, call it out. “I feel ill!  If there is an entity that is not welcome here, I demand that you leave this instant!”   Again, awareness will banish most lowlifes.

To be on the Safe Side
Whether or not you feel you’ve been infiltrated, you can “cut your chords” during or after a Ouija outing: Literally do karate chops in front of you, and say “Cut!” or “No!” and that will cut any energetic ties to you.  I also strongly suggest that you take an Epsom Salt bath or shower if you have been out hobnobbing with the other side – this will help clear your aura.  Water does that.

Protection work in haunted places.
I also suggest that people do some kind of protection work when they go into a known haunted zone. Wrap yourself in light. Call in your guides and angels. Ask that only those entities who have the best intentions for all involved be present.

And speaking of present…
You’ll want to keep your fear at bay so stay present. How do you do that? Fear is about worrying something will happen in the future. You feel no fear if you are in the present moment.  If you start to feel fear take over you, concentrate on your breathing (feel the air go in and out), tell a joke, sing a song, whistle,  get angry (yell at the air telling the unseen to back off if they do not have the best intentions for all involved). I’ve been known to recite some of my childrens’ favorite poetry such as the family classic, “Cuddles the Cow”.  That kind of thing.

Archangel Michael.
If you are feeling freaked, call Archangel Michael to come in and protect you and banish all low vibrating energies from the space. It really works, and you don’t have to believe in angels to make it happen.

You might feel stupid – but you can call Archangel Michael in your head. Just do it.  It’s amazing how the air clears when you do that. And don’t worry about bugging Archangels for seemingly mundane things like feeling the hair stand on the back of you neck. Angels are happy to help – That’s their job. They’ll come with you even if you aren’t scared. All you have to do is remember to ask. (And say Thank You afterwards).

All this information is not meant to scare anybody.
It’s meant to make you more aware. Awareness of the potential pitfalls of fraternizing with ghosts can help you to avoid said pitfalls. I imagine some of my relatives will say all this protection work is really not necessary – but the more sensitive you are, the more you need to delineate and make your boundaries known. You don’t want to bring home any unwanted stragglers.

There you have it, McFly – Ouija Boards 101, along with an introduction to Spiritual Protection.  Are you ready to say “Oui” to the Ouiji?

I trust your Ghost Tours will rock and go bump in in the night…

Tida (a.k.a The Accidental Medium)

— With thanks to Spirit for infinite return.
(c) 2010, 2011, 2012 The Accidental Medium. UltraMarine Media Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Ghosts are People Too Part 6 – Imprints

October 29th, 2010 by admin

Accidental Medium Post

To Our Readers:
This is the continuing email conversation about Ghosts between my old friend McFly and I to help him with his Ghost Tours of New Orleans.  Here are Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5.

Dear Tida –
You mentioned that some ghosts are not ghosts but something else – waz up wit dat?

Okay, McFly  – Regarding your recent email, I will elucidate on another twist in the paranormal experience – we have a thing called imprints.  So I am turning your inquiry above into question #6.  Here goes…

#6   What are Psychic Imprints?
Some sightings of so-called ghosts are really imprints left behind by a person or persons’ actual passing.  An imprint is the energetic “residue” left at the scene by a past event. An imprint is like a movie being played over and over again in the same space. Imprints are typically found at battlefields and other places of great trauma, or upset but not always.  It is surmised that there is a certain percentage of ghost hauntings that are actually imprints.

Imprint or Ghost?
It can be very difficult at times to distinguish between a psychic imprint and a true ghost sighting since both appear very real. If an imprint is seen as a movie reflecting a past event, while a true ghost encounter is a “live” event happening in the now.  True ghosts typically move around (although they may appear only in certain rooms) and they are capable of interacting with their environment, so different observers will have varying experiences with them. Imprints are always identical regardless of who is observing them. When there are variations in detail from observer to observer, it’s a ghost but when the event never varies even with different observers, it is probably an imprint.

I have had experiences with both and the imprint lacks the energetic frequency of a specific person’s ego, but it can still be disconcerting because it is typically “feels” very heavy and unsettling. There is discomforting energy in the atmosphere where the trauma occurred that we can sense.  For me, the way to tell if it is a ghost or not is whether or not there is interaction.

Case in point: The imprint that “slit” my throat
I regularly experience an imprint on our country road – there is a stretch of road that feels so heavy that I get a “punch” in my solar plexus every time I drive through it.  Definitely some upsetting event occurred along that stretch of road, but I don’t know what. I’ve never seen a ghost or anything weird happening, or had any visions of what may have happened, or been told by my guides that there is a present problem there: For these reasons I believe there is an imprint of energy there from a past event.

One night I was driving home from a school event at another parent’s house, and a man started kicking the back of my seat.  I ignored him, hoping he’d go away.   This man definitely wanted my attention so he reached over the back of the drivers seat and he had a “small knife” in his hand and it looked like he was trying to slit my throat.

I KNOW that a ghost can’t slit your throat with a ghost knife –
So I managed to calm down enough to realize that the man was trying to show me what had happened to him – how someone had slit HIS throat.  He was just using me as a demo. It was still a bit too freakish for me.  My next thought was, “OH NO! Am I going to bring this one home TOOOOO??????”

I stopped the car on the pitch dark road, jumped out, threw open the back door behind me and screamed at the guy to GET THE F~*K OUT OF HERE!!!!  No uncertain terms. I called in my guides and angels and he got the message. He didn’t come home.

I called an intuitive counselor friend who told me it was an imprint –
That “something” that I regularly felt on that stretch of road had finally become clear.  Although I trusted her knowledge  of such things, this explanation didn’t sit right:  The “something” hadn’t become clear so much as manifested and interacted with me.  In my experience, when it looks like a ghost, feels like a ghost and acts like a ghost – it’s probably a ghost.

I retraced my steps in my head and knew the man had followed me out of that house and had been with me on the drive all the way to what I now call “screeching halt hill” – where I subsequently kicked him out of the car.  As time went on, and as I learned more about how ghosts manifest I believe that the ghost was using the energy of the imprint to come through and tell me why he was there.

I got to know Eve, the lady-of-the-house where the ghost lived.
I later met her husband, who looked shockingly similar to the man I’d met in my car.  Eve and I became close friends, and I learned that her family was dealing with visits from the other side, that they were all in various stages of opening up intuitively. It ran in their family. During one of our conversations I let it slip that I thought I may have been followed home from Eve’s house by a man who looked a lot like her husband.  (At the time, I still wasn’t sure if it was a ghost or an imprint).

Without missing a beat, Eve said – “Oh that must be Gerry – my father-in-law. He came into my bedroom when we were visiting my mother-in-law – when my son was just a baby. I thought at first it was my husband standing there, but then he didn’t answer, and then I realized I could see through him…”

Eve’s husband later added that his father had a difficult passing.
Two weeks before Gerry died doctors performed what sounded like a botched tracheotomy.  Gerry couldn’t speak the last days of his life.  It was very disconcerting for him because Gerry had a lot to say to his family.  Gerry could tell that I could see him, (my energy frequency tells ghosts and spirits I can sense them) so he followed me home.

Gerry had used the energy of the imprint to come through clearly, and show me how his throat had been cut.  It was a way of telling me who he was and why he couldn’t talk to me. Later I discovered he had followed me home because he had messages to pass on to his family that he couldn’t deliver because he cannot talk – or at least in his reality.  And his family didn’t realize he was there. This is the kind of stuff you don’t read in typical ghost stories.

Battlefield Imprint
As for my experience with imprints they haven’t been movies for me but a feeling – like that stretch of our road. If the imprint is strong, it’s like a sound track that plays in my head. On a number of occasions I’ve driven along a stretch of highway through central Oregon.  All of a sudden, I would feel sick and anxious for no reason. At one point, I could hear screaming, guns going off. I didn’t see anything. I didn’t know what was going on because I didn’t know about imprints at the time. Later I learned that the highway went through a famous battle site and the stretch of road held a well-known imprint.

Country Living Imprint
On another occasion, I was visiting a large antique store that had an excellent collection of antiques arranged by themes in different rooms. I was exploring one room but heard sounds coming from the next room: a screen door slamming shut, the sound of children laughing, a hand mixer beating something in a bowl, women chatting, glasses clinking. I walked into the next room to see what was going on, and saw a large wall of shelves filled with antique kitchen implements, butter churns, pottery mixing bowls, cast iron pans and maple sugar moulds. The entire wall resonated with country life of long ago.  I imagine that many of the items came from the same farmhouse.

In writing this, I realize that my clairaudience seems to pick up imprints but my clairvoyance taps into ghosts. Interesting. Who knew?

So there you have it: Psychic Imprints 101 : )  What else do you want to know, McFly? Happy to give you my two cents… (Final Part 7 – Ouija Boards and Protection).

Tida (a.k.a The Accidental Medium)

— With thanks to Spirit for infinite return.
(c) 2010, 2011, 2012 The Accidental Medium. UltraMarine Media Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Ghosts are People Too Part 5 – What do they want from us?

October 29th, 2010 by admin

Accidental Medium Post

To Our Readers:
This is the continuing email conversation about Ghosts between my old friend McFly and I to help him with his Ghost Tours of New Orleans.  Here are the links to Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.

Okay McFly,
Your next question about ghosts is not as straight forward to answer, but I can give you a few more interesting ghostly details… Some of this information may sound a little repetitive but my point here is that ghosts really are people too.

# 5. What are Ghosts trying to learn from us–if anything?
I don’t know if any ghosts are actually trying to “learn” from us as much as perhaps get our attention.  So the more precise question might be “What do ghosts want from us?”

Ghosts have many of the same concerns we have…
to be heard, to be understood, to be acknowledged, get a message across, to make amends, to show us how much they love us, to ask for help.  Others like to stir things up – and enjoy our fearful reaction. As I mentioned, these darker ghosts want to feed off our fearful energy.  In life they only knew how to get negative attention, and get what they wanted by acting out, behaving badly.  And so it goes after death. The dark ghosts sh-t disturb.

Every Ghost is different.
Just like us, each ghost is an individual:  Different personalities, different levels of awareness, and different ways of communicating. If you can shift your perspective to a place where you can accept that ghosts are really just like us here on earth, ghosts lose their scary qualities.  But if you choose to be freaked out by ghosts, it won’t really matter to you whether or not they are “good” or “bad” – they’ll all seem bad to you.  Yes, there are unhappy ghosts who behave badly just like there are people on this side who are unhappy who behave badly. But the world is essentially a good place.

If a Ghost wants our attention…
And can feel that we can sense them, they will do their best to let us know they are present.  We all have different levels of awareness and acceptance of ghosts, so how a ghost appears or behaves in front of one person may have little or no impact on another, less aware person.

Ghosts often create a physical disturbance to get our attention – we discussed these manifestations at some length – but if we ignore that disturbance, they will ratchet things up a bit until we do acknowledge their presence.  This ratcheting up of their presence can be scary, even if it’s a happy ghost.

When I’ve refused to acknowledge that subtle experiences were actually ghost work, I’ve had blinds flying up in the middle of the night and my rocking chair rocking on it’s own accord.  Suffice to say, when I finally acknowledged their presence, things calmed down.

For those Ghosts with a message –
Their message might be “Do not follow my path” – i.e. don’t do what they did. Some are trying to get us to move forward with our lives.  Their message might be “Don’t let grief stop you from your own life path.” Or maybe the message is “Let go of grudges against loved ones here on earth” or even a grudge held against the ghost himself.  They may want us to be aware of and let go of beliefs that aren’t true that block our true selves:

Ghosts want us to heal with the truth.
A big reason for a loving ghost to get our attention is based on the need to mend rifts in relationships. The ghost may have died during a time of major family upheaval and feel they cannot leave until the division has been healed.  I believe that one of the reasons my mother-in-law wouldn’t leave was due to her traumatic departure – she was relatively young, when out of the blue she had a massive stroke.  Her sons blamed their father for not making the emergency call quickly enough, and not getting her to the hospital on time to save her life. They held their father responsible for her death, but the truth is it was her time. The boys needed to stop blaming their father and heal their personal relationships with their Dad.

Some Ghosts are full of apologies.
Ghosts who perceive themselves to have behaved badly in life may stay to make amends.  Full of guilt or shame, they may be trying to tell us something they feel “guilty” for – and that energy of guilt is so heavy they don’t go to the light.  They stay behind because they don’t feel worthy and may want to confess to ease their burden.  This has been seen to happen with soldiers who have died in combat, who may have believed they’d made a wrong decision on the battlefield and were not able to protect or save the lives of their comrades.

Lady Camille: Overwhelmed by guilt and grief
Lady Camille, a ghost I’ve mentioned before who used to be a regular visitor here, was full of regret. She felt responsible for the death of a loved one.  Her remorse, shame, guilt and grief were so heavy it was “scary”.  She could not leave until I listened to her confession and we worked through the guilt that bound her to this earthly plane. It was a  good lesson for me – Don’t mix up intense emotion with something to be fearful of.

Good Ghosts and Spirits have similarities.
Much of what I am saying about the “good ghosts” for lack of a better descriptor also applies to those Spirits in the higher realms who come in to visit – they also want us to unblock ourselves, let go of false beliefs and follow the path of unconditional love.  Their energy is so much more subtle than that of most ghosts, it’s much more difficult to discern their presence.

Some Ghosts are oblivious to the fact they are dead.
They may get frustrated or down right pissed off that we are ignoring them.  They may be trying to get our attention and be confused if we cannot see them.  Ghosts that need to be heard don’t like being ignored: many we ignore them because we think it’s our imagination playing tricks on us.

The Red-Headed Woman
When Kate was younger, she had a young French woman who kept visiting her bedside to try to talk to Kate.  This tall woman with vibrant red hair refused to talk to me. I was not important. Kate was. She didn’t believe me when I told her she was dead and needed to go to the light. She treated me as though I was crazy, not to be trusted. I gradually learned that she was a friend of Kate’s from a past life who was still stuck in her own reality and couldn’t see that Kate was now a four year old who didn’t understand French.  (I must post the full story!)

Other Ghosts may totally ignore us:
We may feel a ghost but never see them because we aren’t important to them. They may not reveal themselves because they don’t know us or trust us.  Still other ghosts we may see but they ignore us because they are playing out their life in their own time warp, a time when we didn’t exist so we don’t “appear” to them.

The Native Brave
When Kate was a baby, I had repeat visitations from what may have been a native chief who didn’t acknowledge Kate’s or my presence – he would position himself, very straight with head held high, on an old oak chair in Kate’s room, observing an unseen landscape.  It was obvious he was a man of considerable stature in the scheme of things. Our house is new but I later discovered we live on sacred land that natives did not live on, but was a gathering spot for ceremonies almost two centuries ago.

The Goddess Worshiper
When Kate was just three, early one morning Kate cried out. I rushed into her room and she said “Mommy, why did you leave? You were just here!” I wasn’t just there – I was definitely in bed.   But my eyes were drawn towards the door, where I saw the back of a woman floating out. She was about my height, with hair about my length, but she was wearing a long black cloak. She looked straight out of the mid 1800’s.

I have since learned that back then goddess worship was a popular but covert activity around here: The local rural women would gather in secret on full moons – possibly when their men were off camping and fishing.  This information tied in with a very interesting feature on our property that we’ve always wondered about:  Kate’s door faces in the direction of a rock formation up on the side of a hill.  It is man-made (more likely woman made) that looks like a woman reclining. A head, body, arms, legs. It’s remarkable.  Since I was a little girl, Mom and I would decorate our “witch” every summer.

Elucidating the darker side…
In saying all this, I’m sure there are people who still say – “That’s all very well and good, but what about the bad ghosts?” There are negative energies in ghost form that can be troublesome.  There are routines, tools, that I do every day to protect myself from negative energy no matter where it comes from. (More on protection in Part 7).

I have learned to be much more concerned about the negative energies on this side. The reality is, a ghost can do little but frighten you. A person on this side can harass you, hurt you, kill you, make life misery for your family.

Learn the Big Lesson
The underlying big picture lesson here is not to learn how to protect yourself from ghosts, but to clean up your life the less likely you are to get stuck as a ghost.  The more you clear your energy field, heal relationships and clean up your life habits from low vibrational thinking, the less likely you are to attract troublesome ghosts. Finish your unfinished business.

Reading over all that I’ve written thus far,  I’ve eluded to but haven’t really explained about those times when we think we are seeing a ghost but we aren’t and some other things you may want to know about.

Stay tuned… (Part 6 – Psychic Imprints)

Tida (a.k.a The Accidental Medium)

— With thanks to Spirit for infinite return.
(c) 2010, 2011, 2012 The Accidental Medium. UltraMarine Media Inc. All Rights Reserved.